How Can I Love My Neighbour

Every time I sign into yahoo messenger these days, there seems to be one story or the other about a family that had been slaughtered by their breadwinner. Almost everyday. The specifics are different, but the scenario is the same: owing to the recession, the man of the house finds himself in debt and penury, and sees death as the only way out.

A few years ago, I probably would have seen the man as wicked and evil. If you want to kill yourself do so, but why take young innocent lives with you? I shudder to imagine the terror in the minds of the kids when they saw their protector, their infallible parent, attempting to harm them greviously, over and over again (in the most recent one the father was said to have stabbed all the members of his family before he shot them, probably because the stab wounds did not do the trick), their last thoughts. But now, I can see how easily one can slip from hopeless to suicidal, when faced with problems that to many people seem insurmountable. I, infact, have had those times, recently, when I felt my death would be a good solution- and I thought them very rationally, almost intellectually. It was when I watched 'Notorious' the story of Notorious BIG's life, that I realised that I was not the only one who thought like that, and that things may not be as bad as I think. In that movie, the character of Biggie, fell into some really hard times and was thrown in jail, and he said that was the one time he felt that if he died, his problems would be over. That was an epiphany for me because, in the hood, people, especially gangsters and drug dealers, like Biggie was, did everything to stay alive. The idea of embracing death showed how bad things had become, yet he overcame them. I had a friend, he's dead now, who thought that suicide was committed by stupid people; I don't think so. It's mostly by people without a reason to hope, and sometimes, without someone to help them put things in perspective.

Imagine this: a person I know, my neighbour actually, is in a quagmire and all he can do is pray to God, daily. I was attracted to him by his intelligence and his mind-my-own-business attitude. He lost his job about 8 months ago because the people he helped gain employment there stole something. A few months later, he lost his car to robbers. At the time of being in employment, like most workers do, he had bought a few things on a lease arrangement. Because he was frugal he was able to make his monthly payments until 3 months ago, now everyday, he lives in fear of repossession. To add insult to injury, he, like everyone in the house I live in, has been given an eviction notice, so he needs to move. He had been interviewing for jobs, and one seems, close to being a reality but it would mean his going to work everyday on the island, with no home, no money, and no means of transport how would he cope? The last time I spoke with him he told me he had 300 naira in his account. Both his parents and his siblings were/are dependent on him, so he has nowhere to turn. I asked him if he had tried to borrow from friends, and he said he had, but few could help him with what he needed, and truth be told if they did how would he pay back? Others would promise to help, but stop picking up the phone afterwards when he called. I try to talk to him every once in a while, but in that situation talk is cheap. But what can I do? I too am looking for accommodation. When I tell him that things will get better he asks me how I know. And really, how do I know? I'm only offering impotent platitudes. Anytime I hear, or read of someone committing suicide to get out of financial problems I pray for him.

This came to me again as I was watching a documentary, on BBCKnowledge, about culture clash in the educational system in Uganda. At some point in the documentary, in trying to indicate the people's belief in superstition and animism, the camera followed the wrapped corpse of a parent that committed suicide because of poverty, to the evil forest where it was dumped. Poverty and suicide again. I just wonder how we can truly be neighbours, especially in country like ours where it is 'self' first. You never really know what anyone is going through. You never do.

Chili!