Showing posts from August, 2011


It's the 1st of August today, and the reality of my situation presses down harder, squeezing the joy out of my life, and the breath from it's desire to live.
Talking about my problems in fora like this is a problem for me. I feel stupid and weak for having these issues, I only hear those laughing at me... But i shall speak tonight because if i don't I just might choke to death.
' I thank whatever gods may be/ For my unconquerable soul' - Invictus

The only reason I am alive today, and still breathing- because I could easily have taken my own life a very long time ago- is because of my daughter. She didn't ask to be born and she deserves better- much better. Yet it is quite tough because of her.

I never knew what it took to raise a child, that is not to say had I known I would have gotten rid of the pregnancy. Absolutely not. Even when her father was screaming at me over the phone and asking why I was after him, even when I lost my job and consequent ability to t…