Joie De Vivre et Morte

I don't know if I wrote that right but I meant to say the death of the joy of life.

I noticed it about a week after he was gone... From my mind that is. Despite our very vibrant sex life I never once recalled any of our 'sessions'. It seemed that I had put everything that related to him out of my mind, because even when I tried all I got were very tiny bits of vague memories.

And it's still like that now. And not just with him, but with any man. No man including The Ex turns me on. ( Well, M did for a hot minute, but without follow up it went as it came.)

I know my heart is still mourning. And my body sympathises... It just bothers me 'cos it came out of nowhere, and I wonder if I'll ever know what it's like to feel it again. Not the feeling of lust - that's easy to get- but the feeling of abandon and ecstasy and security that comes with knowing someone has got your back, somewhere.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Comments

BabaAlaye said…
Sweetie, you need a holiday. I've been following your stories...
You'll be alright. Really.
October 9, 2008 at 12:44 PM
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