Those Whom The Gods Want To Kill...

Hi Y'all

I'm very broke. Terribly broke. The find -me-ten-thousand-naira kind of broke.Of course being down with a leg injury for two months, and not working contributed greatly to this situation but it doesnt change how terrible it feels.

It is at times like this that my mind goes back to all the frivolous things I spent money on in the past, and wishes that I could retrieve that cash. My mind also goes to some people I know, or may not know very well, who have blown good money and I just want to flog them (after retrieving what is left though).

Tonight the first person on my flog list is Sam Edem. This story was as hilarious as it was shocking and annoying. This nincompoop, Edem, was the former chairman of the NDDC - the Niger Delta Development Commission, for the uncircumcised.As the story goes he got wind of plans to remove him from his position, and, with the help of his assistant, got in touch with a native doctor/ juju man who charged him 15 million naira -yes!- to solve the problem.apparently, the native doctor did such a satisfactory job that Edem gave him 3 more contracts: eliminate Timi Alaibe, his boss, either by killing him or rendering him terminally ill (spiritually, of course), ensure Governor Akpabio always did his bidding, and make Vice President Jonathan continually on his side. For all these, the native doctor charged 570 million naira . Edem paid a deposit of 310 million naira in instalments, and the native doctor went to work. Bt that is not what upset me. The thing that makes me want to flog the foolish man now is something from the confession the native doctor made to the police. As part of the ritual that they performed, Edem was required to come with 270 million naira cash (two hundred and seventy million naira), to a cementry at night, BURN IT(!!!!!), and have his bath with that. And he did.

For me that was the story of 2008. I mean this native doctor had a 50 room hotel, and several exotic cars. Before nko? If someone is stupid enough to pay me 300 million naira to perform spiritual hocus-pocus will I be stupid enough not to invest it? God , I so need to flog that guy.


Chili!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

International Women's Day Reflection: Take Back Your Body ( And Mindset)

In the background is the Big Brother Nigeria show which is going on at the point of publishing this post. One of the male participants - referred to as housemates- ostensibly in an alcohol-induced moment of daring, looked around to ensure there were no cameras (or people) in sight, and groped a sleeping female housemate under the covers. Unfortunately for him, he overlooked two important issues; one, the live eviction show was the next day, and two, there  are  cameras everywhere. The cameras and Big Brother caught him; which was serendipitous for the female housemate- let's call her B- as she was totally unaware of what was going on.  Long story short, Big Brother called both of them privately and informed them on what had been seen. Then in public, disqualified the male housemate and evicted him from the house. You can read more  here . However, what should have been a wise decision in the light of the unfortunate occurrence sparked off a vitriolic controversy, on and off l
Read more

All The Times I DIed

Say it say it say it Tell it like it is Say it say it say it Tell it like it is What breaks your heart What keeps you awake at night What makes you want to breakdown and cry But say you'll never turn your back Say you'll never harden to the world Say you'll never try to still the rhythms in your breast Say you'll never look at the evil among us and try to forget Say you'll tell it like it is What breaks your heart What keeps you awake at night How your anger and grief Make you want to cry out And tell it like it is But say you'll never close your eyes Or pretend that it's a rosy world Say you'll never try to paint What is rotten with a sugarcoat Say you'll … Tracy Chapman, Tell It Like It Is This was the post I wrote for World AIDS Day on the hernetwork  blog. I must really commend the wonderful ladies at the hub for their warmth. I was unprepared, however, for the responses I received on this article. Granted, it took quite a bit to
Read more

Kids Say The Darndest Things

My child is fast awakening my comatose conscience. Today she asked me why I was always so mean to my mum and making her cry. I knew she was referring to the times I quarrel with my mum.  I said "have you ever seen your grandma cry" ? She said, "She cries inside because she doesn't want you to see the tears". She is 6 years old.
Read more