Boyfriend Matters

Na wa O!

This my boyfriend has done it again o. I don tire, I no do again. I mean what sort of mental harassment is this? See me see trouble o. I mean can't a girl just lay her head down to rest for one minute? Must she watch her man like a hawk? Wetin dey do all these men sef? Can't a guy who looks and acts gentle, quiet and kind just be gentle and quiet and kind? Ok, let me just tell you what happened.

This Oga of mine- I'll call him Snuffleupagus, Snuffy for short- he has the same name as another character on Sesame street- has been out of town for about one week. Generally we speak to each other everyday. (He basically behaves like a good person and tries to do good by me, apologises every time he does something wrong, calls me regularly. But that's as far as it goes. Sometimes he just drives me up the wall.)

I had just finished getting my hair done and I really liked it. I thought of wearing it to see my boyfriend when he came, and just thinking about that made me want to call him. Na so I pick phone o, dial Snuffy number and the following conversation ensued:

Chili!: Hi Baby Snuffy: Hello
Chili!: Hi Sweetie!
Snuffy: Hello!!!
Chili!: Ah ah, can't you hear me?
Snuffy: Oh, I can hear you now. How are you?
Chili!: I'm ok. Can you imagine? I've been calling you all sorts of nice names and you didn't hear me. It was when I said Ah, ah, that you finally heard. Snuffy: (small laugh) So, how is Mumsy, now? Chili!: (double take) sorry? Snuffy: Se today is her birthday, are you with her so I can wish her happy birthday?

(PS. I live alone, and I've known this man for all of 2-3 months during which I've seen him at the office or HIS place. Long and short, in no know my mama)
Chili!: (deliberately) w-i-s-h w-h-o w-h-a-t?
Snuffy: Oh! sorry! I thought it was my cousin, her mum's birthday is today. I didn't even look at the phone when it rang.
Chili!: mmm mmh
Snuffy:(nervous laugh) see how person dey enter trouble? I was surprised when you didn respond. I really thot it was my cousin.
Chili!: (coldly) I'm still surprised.
Snuffy: So how are you now? Where are you?
Chili!: I'm just driving into a friend's place on Allen.
Snuffy: You never seem to come out of that axis. What's happening there? How was your day?

(At which point in time I hear a girl in the background saying 'open the door')

Chili!: Who's that?
Snuffy: (silence)

(Then I hear the voice of another guy. Snuffy then says 'just enter the car', and the guy says 'Snuffy, Snuffy! and laughs. You know that I-know-what-u-will-do this-summer laugh.)

Chili!: Where are you?
Snuffy: I'm outside I'm about to drive to get something to eat.
Chili!: Talk to you later.

At which abrupt point I hang up.
See me see trouble o. Can't a girl just engage in some love ventures without all these obstacles along the way? Eh?

Snuffy called me back about 30 minutes later and started his conversation with 'Hi Baby'. I made small talk with him but he could tell I was irritated. I knew he would be a bit nervous because, the day before, I had spoken to him about how i dealt with such inconsistencies in my partner's character/ behaviour- by leaving. He called again the next morning, then I decided to just let it go.

But I'm watching him and I'm tired of this crap. I am already paranoid as it is. I don't trust any man farther than I can touch him. And then some guy who I picked for being different from the playboy types I am used to, suddenly turns playa on me! It may be a normal thing for most women but Chili! aint having none of that shit.

Snuffy be careful o. This na yellow card.

Chili!

Comments

Afrobabe said…
Aren't they all dogs!!!yeye people.
December 31, 2007 at 5:50 PM
e-hotbody said…
things arent always as they seem, he might actually have thot it was hs cousin calling. really. no im serious. for real. lol
January 23, 2008 at 8:58 PM
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