I confess, I don't understand men. I've been struggling with this issue for ages but I didn't want to seem weak and unstable to you guys so I never spoke about it. But now 'water don pass garri' o. I need help. And if washing my dirty Agent Provocateurs/Victoria Secrets in publog is going to solve this problem, then wash I shall!

I don't get it. What is the purpose of a relationship with the opposite sex? No, scratch that, not the opposite sex , with men. ( Some over-intelligent people go tell me say the relationship na for say make una marry. Ok o, but they will also tell you that you don't tell the man that, at the beginning of the relationship. Then how will you both know what you are aiming for? Sounds really stupid to me. )

Then when you are finally in a relationship- or to put it more succintly- when you think you are in a relationship you find a blog that suggests that you really aren't paying attention to all the important things, and that you are actually in a relationship with yourself!!! And to make matters worse, it's true!!! (I hate you Kpakpando). I mean, why in heaven's name can't women just get into a relationship and relax? Why must they always look over their shoulders, checking to see if he is introducing them to his friends, if he comes in during the day to visit, if he calls as often as he says he will, if he is just 'that into you'.

You meet a girl, you know that in a thousand years you would never marry her. That notwithstanding you allow her cook, clean for, and have sex with you for four(4) good years. Then, one day, you think it's time to put her out of her misery, and you rudely request for your keys, tell her to be out of the house before you get back,and that's it. (True story,I swear. My friend says that, before he married her, her husband had been dating a girl for years. But because she was calabar or akwa-ibom, (that side sha) he knew he could never marry her. He waited for her to do something to upset him so he could send her away but she never did, for four good years. So one day he just said to her "Can I have my keys please?" and unceremoniously kicked her out of his life. Now that's heartless.) AND these stories abound.

I told a male friend of mine that story and he said the girl was not wise. To him the man would have been giving signals that he wasn't in for the long haul, to the girl, but she wasn't paying attention. He says when it comes to issues like that men can't express themselves And that seems to be the argument of a lot of people. But to me that is callous. When it comes to telling the truth to a girl they've been living with for ages it becomes difficult. But it seems pretty easy to bark intimate instructions like 'go down on me' and 'don't stop', when the situation lends itself to it. How can you sincerely be in a relationship and be watching your back everytime your man opens his mouth? It's the situation that I am in and I don't like it one bit. Not one bit.

I want to love and be free
I want floating love,
The freedom that comes from a union of love and peace of mind
I want to fight and not be afraid that this will change his mind
I want to say goofy things and not slap myself when I hang up the phone
if it doesnt work out I want to know its because it just didn't
No story of Shalewa lurking in the corner waiting for me to leave him so they could get married
No leaving the bridges on fire but never actually burning them
So you can make your way back stealthily one cold, lonely night,
No lies! No lies!
Condoms don't offer protection against a permanently broken heart.
Let me let go
Or let me go.

Call me soppy if you like, stupid if you like I don't care. I hate falsehood and pretence and I'm tired of these men.


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