Grey Matters

Let's get this straight; I hate rats. Those small, squirmy, creatures that make wheezing shrieks, and eat everything in sight, to the point of waste. The shameless, graceless rodents scurry noisily around, leaving in their incontinent trail, hard, black grains of excrement and pungent, odious fumes of their own urine. They are disgusting and annoying, gate-crashing your house, your kitchen, like area boys to a white tie dinner. And I have lost count of the number of things these wretched vermin have done to make me almost run crazy with rage. Once it was my plastic gallon of vegetable oil. In an effort to be frugal, I had decided to buy some foodstuff in bulk, including vegetable oil. Now, at this point in time, I only spent Saturdays at home, every other day was spent at work, or travelling, or being groomed, so I had no idea how serious the vermin problem I had was. I confidently placed my 4-litre gallon of vegetable oil in the larder, along with the other food items and promptly...

I was watching a reality series on BBC Lifestyle, titled The Baby Borrowers On Holiday. Briefly, it's a documentary of an experiment involving about 4 or 5 teenage couples with ages ranging from 16-19. Basically the idea, I think, is to give these lovestruck (or is it lust struck) teenagers a taste of reality in large doses, with a view to assisting them make less self-destructive decisions. The couples were sent to some holiday beach houses for a few weeks, and each week, were given the responsibility of adults, by first taking care of their 'homes' and finances and later children (beginning with infants and ending with younger teenagers), and then aged people. A worthy experiment especially when you consider that these teenagers come from typical British lower-class homes, with only one parent- usually the mother- and little discipline. (The discipline part goes without saying, I mean how many 16 year-olds would be left to shack up with their lovers, when they could b...

Was reading through old posts from Funmi Iyanda's blog and I saw this hilarious video . Too cute.

I was watching the Ellen Degeneres show a few days ago and that was the first I heard that she had married her lover, Portia De Rossi, in August, 2008 . I admire Ellen a lot. I admire her energy, her wit, her comedy, her tomboyish nature, her ignorance of her age, and her fierce sense of individuality. When Ellen first publicly declared her sexual orientation, during a sitcom she was in, several years ago, her career was almost terminated. She did not get work for 3 years! (When I heard her tell the story I wasn't surprised because I remembered how, a while back, I was asked to write a proposal for a comedy show, and I described the show as a cross between Ellen, Letterman's and Jon Stewart's show. One of the guys in charge of it said' Ellen? Is this not that lesbian? Abeg remove her name before the sponsors see it!' It did not matter that her show format was the closest to what we were trying to achieve.) Also, I keenly watched Portia in the Ally Mcbeal series, so ...

It was your 36th birthday yesterday. I still remember. Everything. RIP 'Knight Rider' Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

I was just watching a documentary on Femi Kuti, and the mechanics and emotions behind the shrine. One aspect that struck me particularly was a very brief interview with Dolupo Kuti. Now, I had seen this lady on two occasions when I went to interview Femi at the shrine. Both times I had just dimissed her as one of the many aged Kuti relatives. It was easy to do that, given the fact that she looked like the average, old Nigerian grandmother, in her ankara buba and wrapper, topped by her grey , short cut hair. Her looks were also accented by her few missing teeth which you would notice if she acknowledged or returned a greeting from you. Anyway, in this interview, she expressed her opinion on why people flocked to the shrine. To my amazement, this old lady spoke flawless English that bordered on a British accent! It was when she was identified as Fela's sister that I said, 'okay'. Fela's family was no ordinary one. But Dolupo made me wonder something I had been wonderi...

This is a very short blog. For those who do not read my food blog I have to repeat this. I found this fantastic blog quite by accident a while back. This is what you will get if BBC Food had a Nigerian version online. The chef is excellent in both his craft and his pictures. And from the way he replies other bloggers I think he's also a nice person. Dont take my word for it, see it for yourself. Chili!

I've always loved Fridays on DSTV. For me that's when the series channel unveils the priceless jewels: reality shows of different types. My favourites are Top Chef, Shear Genius, Wife Swap, Janice Dickinson Modelling Academy, Trading Spouses, and now, Project Runway. This will be the 2nd season of Project Runway I'm seeing on DSTV, but it's the first time I am actually paying full attention, all because of a girl called Korto Momolu. Korto was one of the contestants on Season 5 of Project Runway. She's a Liberian-American, but more the former than the latter. The first time I saw her I did not pay much attention to her, especially as I thought she was quite solemn and intense, but when they did a wide shot with her back to the camera , I did a double-take. Meeeeenn, that girl has got booooty! Not the South African version that makes it seem the lady stole it from someone twice her size, but the West African-meets- stripper type. She wore one of these pants where th...

Hi Yawl After all said and done I went to pick up my laptop which the guy had fixed. I don't know who asked him to do it o, especially since I did not give him the money he asked for, and expressly told him not to touch it anymore. Just goes to prove what I was saying that he was a daylight robber. Anyway, Mike the dubious guy, called me the next morning and said my laptop was fixed. I told him that I did not ask him to fix it and that I was not interested in any further discussions. He later called again to ask for my password, saying that he wanted to ensure it was working properly. Of course I did not give it to him. Yesterday, I went to pick up the laptop. He saw me, went inside and brought it and made to turn it on. I just snatched it from him, asked for my power pack, collected that and walked away. I did not tell him to fix it so it was his loss, if he did. Turns out he did. well, my gain. Chili!

Morning has broken Already, Again. Terror In living colour. Stay, Bogeyman, stay. Your presence calms hasty hopes Of another day. With the light comes the performance, Of the rites of the zombies: Scurrying drudgery. Until you come again In Peace, with peace. Chili! Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

These days it's easier for me to count what appliances are actually working than those that are not. My fridge seems to have packed up today, and that is in the wake of something even more serious that happened yesterday: my landlord gave me an eviction notice. And I have only 2 months. Now, there's a part of me that's ridiculously happy because I've been wanting to get the hell out of this house for ages but I've been putting it off , in order to deal with other priorities. The other part of me is terribly angry and shocked because I have no idea where this came from. I have not had a run-in with him and I only just went to pay him for this year, last week, and he never said anything. Not to talk of the additional psychological and financial crisis I have been thrown into. Of course he gave the notice to every tenant in this house, and I hear he has actually sold it, but that does little to make me feel less upset. And to think that he attached a court summons to e...

My laptop crashed yesterday. It was only a matter of time before it did anyway. I had been feeling like there was a conspiracy, among all the things I own and/or need, to go into their own recession. The laptop was just one in a long line of many. You know what they say, when it rains, it pours. I'll try to update as much as possible, but it'll have to be from my blackberry for the time being. Chili! Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

I have to end this post soon, cos remembering all this is making me somewhat upset. Anyway here goes: So for a while I did not go to Chinwe's house, as I was doing my own thing in my place. To my surprise she, on her part, did not even bother to call me. As far as I was concerned that was an indication of what I thought all along; she did little or nothing to help my situation in her home. One day I went to Benin, and Chinwe was not home and hadn't been for a while. Apparently, she had found some other place to stay that would allow her carry on with her lifestyle. Anyway, for some reason, I went to my former university, and, I could have sworn I saw her there. I tried to call her but she did not answer. When I got home,I went to the business centre where Chinwe spent most of her time, to call her. But try as I might, I could not bring myself to make the call. The lady at the business center who happened to be somewhat close to Chinwe, noticed something was wrong, and wanted to...

wow, I had a good day yesterday. Just when I thought things were going downhill permanently, a glimmer of light shone thru the darkness. I went to borrow 160k from a friend, cos I had a project I needed to finish and I was so out of cash, and he gave it to me! I know he's a generous person and all but this was quite unexpected for me. Okay so back to Chinwe. Later in the evening when I thought she must have arrived in her house and settled in, I called just to make sure. Her mum picked up the phone and I asked to speak with Chinwe. 'Chinwe is in school, now', she replied. I was shocked and a bit scared, ' she told me she was going home', I managed to utter. Of course any mother would be thrown into panic, and Chinwe's mother wasn't different. I tried to calm her down and promised to call her when I arrived home (I told her I hadn't been home yet) and tell her if Chinwe was there. After that call I was perplexed, worried and scared. What if something had ...

If ever I needed prayers, help and more prayers, now is the time. Just so many things, so many things,... I wish I could, but I'd rather not speak of them here, since my anonymity is a myth. But I shall speak of other things, first of all is friendship, especially among girls. I saw this video, on facebook, involving some girls in Vivian Fowler Memorial School- a posh girls-only secondary school. Apparently, some girl, named Shola, had provoked the wrath of two of her obviously egotistical classmates, by saying something to someone (dem say, dem say). Anyway, the video opens on these girls walking up to the Shola girl and confronting her very dramatically, about whatever it is she has said. Gradually, the thing degenerates into an advanced bullying session with the two girls slapping Shola simultaneously and pushing her down when she tries to stand up and leave the room. At the end of the whole brouhaha Shola had received 18 slaps in addition to the humiliation and insults. I wat...

Maturity is defined as the ability to delay gratification. That's a good definition but it is too broad, because under that definition, the ability to diet would be an act of maturity. Instead it is an act of will. Speaking of willpower, mine was slipping recently, as I noticed how I would allow myself a 'little' sugary snack, now and then. At last count I've had a snack, 3 out of four days on my diet, this week. So, today, I did what every sensible overweight person would do: I chucked all the forbidden stuff out. Now, I had nothing interesting like chocolates or ice cream in the fridge, but I found out that the ingredients for pancake turn up very easily from my near-empty pantry. I also realised that a good substitute for chocolate is a high calorie chocolate/ cocoa drink with lots of milk. And every cup of tea needs warm, fresh white bread, doesn't it? And that's how I was sabotaging my healthy eating routine and weakening my resolve. So this evening th...