Wanderings of Lust
I was watching a reality series on BBC Lifestyle, titled The Baby Borrowers On Holiday. Briefly, it's a documentary of an experiment involving about 4 or 5 teenage couples with ages ranging from 16-19. Basically the idea, I think, is to give these lovestruck (or is it lust struck) teenagers a taste of reality in large doses, with a view to assisting them make less self-destructive decisions. The couples were sent to some holiday beach houses for a few weeks, and each week, were given the responsibility of adults, by first taking care of their 'homes' and finances and later children (beginning with infants and ending with younger teenagers), and then aged people. A worthy experiment especially when you consider that these teenagers come from typical British lower-class homes, with only one parent- usually the mother- and little discipline. (The discipline part goes without saying, I mean how many 16 year-olds would be left to shack up with their lovers, when they could be in school, age of consent or no?)
In this episode, however, the teenagers were given younger teenagers to look after. Probably because the teenagers were closer in age to their 'parents', the flaws in the teenagers relationships became more obvious. For one couple, Jason (18) and Zen (16) , their relationship met an unexpected end as Jason was cheating on Zen and had to leave. But it's how it happened and what happened thereafter that I found interesting.
For a long while Zen and Jason had been having issues. Ever since the arrival of the babies, the first set of infants , they had to care for, Jason gradually became emotionally and, often physically, unavailable and Zen became a nagging, pot-mouthed woman. Several times he would go out of the house to make calls, or would just stay home and clam up, not doing anything, not saying anything. Several times the parents of the children they were taking care of would intervene to bring sanity to the unhealthy situation their children were in, but nothing worked, until their mothers (Zen and Jason's) stepped in.
So in this episode, I don't know why, but Jason confessed to Mohammed, another teenager on the show, that he had another girlfriend. Mohammed told his girlfriend who then confronted Jason, leaving him with no choice but to tell Zen the truth, before anyone else did. If Jason thought that his confession was enough to exonerate him, he was so wrong. The entire teenage community rallied around Zen, who consequently threw Jason out. At home, Jason's Jamaican mother was not having any of that, it was only thanks to subtitles that we were able to make out the flurry of patois she angrily threw at her son who eventually cowered in the face of all that anger. Zen's mother, who spoke to her on the phone, was equally shocked and sad.
In all this, what amazed me was the reaction of the 3rd parties to the infidelity. I understand how big of an issue it is abroad, but I half-expected that , coming from the circumstances which they did, the teenagers and parents would react differently to the situation. To tell you the truth, that someone was shocked at infidelity in this day and age, was a huge surprise for me, and a refreshing feeling as well. I mean in my darling Nigeria, I have heard married women tell their equally married counterparts off, for even considering being upset with their husbands infidelity. Their argument is that there's nothing new about it and that they should not leave their homes because of another woman. Fair enough, but where is the place of self respect in all this? Or respect for your partner? But woe betide the woman if she ever ventures outside. A MARRIED WOMAN?!!!, would be their refrain. Apparently, the wedding ring is designed to zap a woman, no matter the circumstances, into frigidity and blindness, when she comes upon a man who is not her husband. If this situation happened in Nigeria, Zen would never have heard of it, because Mohammed would never had told his girlfriend- male code of conduct. And even if it had still happened, and Jason had gone home, his mother would have just waved it away saying,is it because of that small thing they sent you home? Or Zen's mother would have encouraged her to 'bring Jason closer, talk to him,'etc. LOL.
I honestly feel rage when I see a girl accepting less than she deserves from a guy. A few years ago, I thought Nigerian women had evolved and had become less tolerant of such acts of selfish indiscretion, but I have had to think about it again. It's the reason why I don't think much of marriage: people have little respect for their spouses or their vows. I know people have different reasons for staying in relationships but if you are sticking it out with your philandering partner because you are too afraid, too poor, or too stupid, to go on your own, stop dishing out your second-rate advice to friends who have the self respect to stand up for themselves. I've always said I will forgive a man who cheats on me, if he will forgive ME cheating on him. Not that I will retaliate by sleeping with someone else if I find out he is cheating on me, but I can only forgive someone who will do the same for me, if I were in his shoes. And you will know if he is that kind of person. I could go on and on about this but I won't talk about it today.
Speaking of television, American TV is getting weirder and weirder. Those who were protesting about Harry Porter should just give that up and face some more serious issues. First it was Weeds; a series about the distribution and sale of Marijuana. Well, with the current debate on legalizing it in the US, it should come as no surprise that such a story would make its way to the silver screen. (Apparently, there are not enough incidents of random shootings in the US to make them feel that, legalizing one more thing, that can impede rational thinking, is not a good idea.) But now, it's a romanticised series on Vampires living among human beings in a New America. These vampires are portrayed as unassuming, sexy, with high libidos and extra staying power. Talk about mindless television. Na wa o.
Chili!
In this episode, however, the teenagers were given younger teenagers to look after. Probably because the teenagers were closer in age to their 'parents', the flaws in the teenagers relationships became more obvious. For one couple, Jason (18) and Zen (16) , their relationship met an unexpected end as Jason was cheating on Zen and had to leave. But it's how it happened and what happened thereafter that I found interesting.
For a long while Zen and Jason had been having issues. Ever since the arrival of the babies, the first set of infants , they had to care for, Jason gradually became emotionally and, often physically, unavailable and Zen became a nagging, pot-mouthed woman. Several times he would go out of the house to make calls, or would just stay home and clam up, not doing anything, not saying anything. Several times the parents of the children they were taking care of would intervene to bring sanity to the unhealthy situation their children were in, but nothing worked, until their mothers (Zen and Jason's) stepped in.
So in this episode, I don't know why, but Jason confessed to Mohammed, another teenager on the show, that he had another girlfriend. Mohammed told his girlfriend who then confronted Jason, leaving him with no choice but to tell Zen the truth, before anyone else did. If Jason thought that his confession was enough to exonerate him, he was so wrong. The entire teenage community rallied around Zen, who consequently threw Jason out. At home, Jason's Jamaican mother was not having any of that, it was only thanks to subtitles that we were able to make out the flurry of patois she angrily threw at her son who eventually cowered in the face of all that anger. Zen's mother, who spoke to her on the phone, was equally shocked and sad.
In all this, what amazed me was the reaction of the 3rd parties to the infidelity. I understand how big of an issue it is abroad, but I half-expected that , coming from the circumstances which they did, the teenagers and parents would react differently to the situation. To tell you the truth, that someone was shocked at infidelity in this day and age, was a huge surprise for me, and a refreshing feeling as well. I mean in my darling Nigeria, I have heard married women tell their equally married counterparts off, for even considering being upset with their husbands infidelity. Their argument is that there's nothing new about it and that they should not leave their homes because of another woman. Fair enough, but where is the place of self respect in all this? Or respect for your partner? But woe betide the woman if she ever ventures outside. A MARRIED WOMAN?!!!, would be their refrain. Apparently, the wedding ring is designed to zap a woman, no matter the circumstances, into frigidity and blindness, when she comes upon a man who is not her husband. If this situation happened in Nigeria, Zen would never have heard of it, because Mohammed would never had told his girlfriend- male code of conduct. And even if it had still happened, and Jason had gone home, his mother would have just waved it away saying,is it because of that small thing they sent you home? Or Zen's mother would have encouraged her to 'bring Jason closer, talk to him,'etc. LOL.
I honestly feel rage when I see a girl accepting less than she deserves from a guy. A few years ago, I thought Nigerian women had evolved and had become less tolerant of such acts of selfish indiscretion, but I have had to think about it again. It's the reason why I don't think much of marriage: people have little respect for their spouses or their vows. I know people have different reasons for staying in relationships but if you are sticking it out with your philandering partner because you are too afraid, too poor, or too stupid, to go on your own, stop dishing out your second-rate advice to friends who have the self respect to stand up for themselves. I've always said I will forgive a man who cheats on me, if he will forgive ME cheating on him. Not that I will retaliate by sleeping with someone else if I find out he is cheating on me, but I can only forgive someone who will do the same for me, if I were in his shoes. And you will know if he is that kind of person. I could go on and on about this but I won't talk about it today.
Speaking of television, American TV is getting weirder and weirder. Those who were protesting about Harry Porter should just give that up and face some more serious issues. First it was Weeds; a series about the distribution and sale of Marijuana. Well, with the current debate on legalizing it in the US, it should come as no surprise that such a story would make its way to the silver screen. (Apparently, there are not enough incidents of random shootings in the US to make them feel that, legalizing one more thing, that can impede rational thinking, is not a good idea.) But now, it's a romanticised series on Vampires living among human beings in a New America. These vampires are portrayed as unassuming, sexy, with high libidos and extra staying power. Talk about mindless television. Na wa o.
Chili!
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